26 March, 2009

Did you know?

12 March, 2009

Abusive Relationships - Rihanna & Chris Brown

What is Abuse?

Abuse IS doing ANYTHING to take positive energy from a person and replace it with negative energy.

There I go again talking about energy. Well, yes, everything is really about energy, we are energy and so is everything else on this planet so bear with me ... :)

Different types of Abuse:

1. Physical Abuse – inflicting pain on another person's body. Ranges from mild to severe.
2. Emotional Abuse – inflicting pain on another person's spirit. Through words, attitudes, racism, prejudices, yelling, anger, slurs, curse words, degradation, belittlement even not allowing them to speak. Silencing is also emotional abuse and so is oppression. Witholding love from someone. Breaking their spirit.
3. Psychological Abuse – inflicting pain on another person's mind. Filling their head with negative thoughts. Playing mind games. Telling kids ideas that will hurt them in life. Tricking people. Double standards. Do as I say, not as I do nonsense. Suggestive lyrics in songs, oversexed media, hateful radio.

Different types of Abusers:

1. People that pick on the weak. (cowards)
2. People that pick on people of their own strength and weaker. (bullies)
3. People that pick on people of their own strength and stronger than them. (fighters)

Different types of Victims:

1. Children
2. Teenagers
3. Women
4. Older people
5. Animals
6.Physically or mentally challenged

Why abusers need victims:

Abusers start off the morning at 0. Meaning when they wake up, they feel nothing for a few minutes. All the negative energy from the previous day has been raised up into the ether. During the dream cycle, they are left to sort out their problems without emotion. They may think they feel emotion because they wake up screaming or crying, but these are just physical representations of fake emotion. In the dream world nothing is real, we are just play acting while our brain tries to figure out how we would react to certain situations. Crying in your sleep is the dream world, blending with the waking world, it's a thin line anyway that sometimes get blurred depending if you are in REM sleep or not.

As soon as the abuser wakes up, they can decide how much of the negative energy floating above their heads they want to let seep back into their existence. Some of them have no control over this because they don't realize this is a choice. They leave themselves wide open to absorb it all. They look at the person next to them, if there is someone, and want to immediately start transferring some of this to someone else. Husband, wife, kids, dogs – anyone is a potential relief system for them. You ever see people appear to wake up on the “wrong side of the bed”. There is no wrong side, they are all wrong because this person literally hates being alive and awake. Why? Because they cannot escape themselves other than in the dream world, when they can stop being them. They get up and look in the mirror and don't like what they see. They know they are not a good person, but they don't know how to become a better person. The “bad them” follows them around all day, whispering evil into their ears. The bad feelings are wrapped around them like a rope with nails in it, strangling them. The only way they can get relief is to abuse others or themselves.

Now, on one hand I feel bad for these people, because I see everyone as a little child painted into a corner, clawing their way out. Everyone was a child at some point. Whatever their parents did to them, abused them, messed them up, if they didn't deal with it, they are going to do the same thing to their children and so on. Do they deserve to be happy? Yes, all children deserve to be happy, but if you are an adult, you have to get past your childhood. It sounds unsympathetic but we can get stuck behaving like children, having tantrums, fighting, calling names, throwing things well into our 60s if we are not careful. As a child you cannot choose your situation, but as a adults you have choices to be whatever kind of human being you want to be. If your parents are messed up people, move away and get yourself right, stop blaming them for your life's problems. Be your own man/woman.

Anyway, an abuser is basically anyone who is so consumed by negative energy that they pathologically sprinkle or dump this energy to a single person or multiple people throughout the day. This makes them feel relieved for a minute because misery loves company. The problem is – and this is a secret that is the basis for all human misery – ready – this negative energy comes back. Yes! You cannot get rid of it. This is why the angry people always seem angry. Because their lives are basically on a cycle of – feel miserable – make others feel miserable – misery comes back – feel miserable. You can almost see it on their faces when it returns. They have mood swings, go from happy to sad in a matter of minutes. Looks like someone just dumped water over their heads. It's karma – boomeranging – over and over.

So, how can you make sure you are not an abuser.
1. Watch your interactions with people. What are your motives for what you say and do?
2. Recognize your own state of being. Do you feel consumed by negative thoughts?
3. How are you planning to get relief? Who is around? Who do you use as a punching bag?
4. Do you say things in a hurtful way that could be said a little bit better?
5. Do you seek out the weak because you know there is no resistance?
6. Who have you abused for many years that just puts up with you because they love you?
7. Do you take advantage of people's weakness because you know you can?

So, how can you make sure you are not a victim:
1.Do you stand up for yourself?
2.Do you make excuses for people that hurt you?
3.Are you in a loveless relationship because you are afraid to be alone?
4.Have you been abused as a child and still haven't gotten past it?
5.Are you in an abusive friendship or relationship that you can't get out of?
6.Do you attract abusive people and mistake it for love?
7.Do you find that some people suck the energy right out of you?

I have the same advice for abusers and victims. JUST STOP! Contact the authorities if someone is abusing you. Bring documentation, photos, recordings, video, witness statements. Don't fear that they will kill you because they might anyway, at least they won't get away with it!

Meditate on your life situation every morning. This cleans the negative energy that you might have let seep back into your body. Dreaming separates your emotions, thoughts, feelings, fears, wishes, memories. Meditation files them away. Cleans up the junk. Throws out the trash. It's such a perfect free gift. Most people don't sleep long enough for the brain to start filing things away. If you file things away while you are awake the brain has less work. Then you can get into some lucid dreaming which I will discuss next week.

In the case of Rihanna, women that go back with their abusers are trying to fill a hole in their heart. They had a big hole to begin with and the abuser filled it for them, even if it was with violence. We should not condemn these women, we should just know that they are working with broken pieces. Once they realize that they are worth more than the abuser could ever give them, they will leave. They need to realize that all the love they need is inside. It is plentiful and will never hurt them.

If you watch a woman or child get beat up on the side of the road and you do nothing about it, you are a part of the problem. Take that as you will ...